Whoever said, ” Time heals all wounds.” didn’t have it quite right. While time may partly heal some wounds, residual injury to certain types of wounds can benefit from more time! In fact, a lifetime may be insufficient.
One type of wound that never seems to have enough time to heal, is the grievous emotional trauma that comes from losing a loved one. Also, the devastating loss that often comes from trauma or disease can frequently leave us feeling that “normal living” will never be experienced again.
In 1976, at the young age of 16, I was critically burned in a house fire that claimed the lives of my mother and brother. Losing my mom at such an early time in life was a loss from which I thought I’d never recover. She and I had a very close relationship and the pain of losing her was immense.
Not a day goes by that I’m not reminded of the emotional and psychological void in my life. But I did survive the loss, among other losses later in life.
Often too, I’m reminded of the good that comes as a result of surviving such a trauma. In a positive way it is had a lasting effect on my perspective and outlook on life, and even influenced my career choices.
I remember a day back in the fourth grade when I heard the news about one of my classmates, Timothy P. Apparently his father had died from a heart attack and there were murmurs throughout the school about young Tim’s tragic loss. My innocent but sensitive mind could not begin to imagine the pain of losing a parent.
How, I thought, could any kind of condolence begin to lessen the pain of my young peer, Tim. Over the subsequent years I was not very close with Tim. But every time I saw him in school, my first thought was of the unimaginable pain he’d obviously endured.
My Own Loss
Then the summer after 10th grade my family suffered the tragic house fire. I’m sure my classmate Tim heard the news and tried to imagine the pain I suffered, physically and emotionally. Either way,regardless, each of us understood some of the toll that results from losing a parent. The trauma, disease, or losses we survive in life are lessened by the love and support we can provide for one another.
Several days ago I awoke following a vivid dream about my mother. In the dream she had her hand resting on my shoulder and was gently encouraging me about some insignificant loss or anguish. Although specific dreams about my mother are rare these days, I’m still reminded of her absence in my day-to-day life. The sentiments were acutely evident in the split-second upon awakening. Then, just as quickly reality set in. Nonetheless, I was particularly conscious of the special bond shared between my sons and their mom.
Were it not for the events of my own life my perspective might be altogether different. We persevere and endure with God’s help. Alas, I am further aware of other equally challenging and tenacious wounds that remain as yet unhealed completely.
June 10th 2016
June 10 marks the one-year anniversary of a painfully tragic loss – Christina Grimmie. Her life was senselessly ended at the hands of a self obsessed psychopath.http://drmarkmcd.com/2016/07/01/bad-things-happen-good-people/ Her memory is still so very fresh and thoughts and prayers remain with her family, Marcus (brother), Bud (dad), and Tina (mom).
Time is just now beginning to heal the wounds of such a tragic loss. But time as long as eternity won’t completely heal these wounds. Her relatives, best friends, bandmates, and colleagues still find it quite painful to talk about that awful night. Sometimes the only saving grace is trusting that God is still in charge and only He sees the whole picture. Some “good” has already been cultivated surrounding Christina and her legacy.
NBC’s The Voice https://twitter.com/thevoice aired a poignant tribute to Christina recently. Adam Levine https://twitter.com/adamlevine and some of his contestants sang “Hey Jude” by the Beatles. Levine said, “I miss her; it’s unfair that she’s not here and we’re going to sing her a little song tonight and I’m going to be singing every word to her, in her honor.”
Christina was a very special kind of artist, friend, daughter, and sister these being but a few of her many lasting life roles. She was a steadfast Christian warrior and soldier who will always be remembered warmly, with love.
A foundation has been established, Christina Grimmie foundation.https://christinagrimmiefoundation.org . It will live on to do amazing things for young future artists. Aside from her musical legacy, the way Christina lived her life was a lasting legacy of character and virtue that will outlive the time needed to heal any wounds. And if that is forever, so too will she be remembered.
So… I’m not sure if time really does heal all wounds – at least not all the way. I don’t think complete closure will be realized until the life hereafter. Then we will see complete wound closure, conflicts met with victories achieved.
At the very least, healing wounds leave residual scar tissue – physical and emotional. And those scars are battle signs of a well fought war. They are indicative of a special understanding amongst survivors signaling the mutual need for support. They remind us to persevere, trusting in a bigger and better plan, the details of which we’re not always privy to
“God is good, all the time.” Christina Grimmie
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him… Romans 8:28
Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:12.